It’s so easy to look back at childhood through rose tinted glasses. Often it is a time of imagination and innocence, filled with playing, learning and, of course, cartoons. But some of these children’s programmes appear to be not quite so innocent, masking dark undercurrents which the Internet loves to discuss. These are a few of the more interesting theories about some childhood favourites*.
* There are some rather outdated views and stereotypes in this article. It is merely as part of the theory and not a reflection of my own personal views in anyway.
The Rugrats
The Rugrats theory is pretty dark, even by my standards. Angelica was one of the main characters in the long running Nickelodeon cartoon; a blonde, bratty 3-year-old who tried to bully the younger children on a regular basis. The theory goes that the other children are simply a figment of Angelica’s imagination. Chuckie’s dad, Chas, lost his wife (Chuckie’s mother) in a car accident, leaving him anxious and neurotic. Did Chuckie actually die in the same car accident, resulting in Chas being an absolute nervous wreck? Tommy was a stillborn child, sending his father, Stu, into a spiral of grief. As a way to process his death he continually makes toys in the basement for the son he never saw grow up. Phil and Lil were identical twins and, according to the theory, their mother, Betty, had an abortion. Angelica, not knowing if it was going to biologically be male or female, decided to create the twins in her mind. Remember the Cynthia doll that Angelica always carried with her? The one with the sticky out hair who appears to have seen better days. Apparently, Angelica’s real mother was a drug addict, who has since died, and Cynthia reminds her of her. Her father, Drew, later married workaholic Charlotte who often ignores Angelica, thrusting her into her own world as a way to cope with her solitude. The only real baby was Dil, which is why he can’t talk like the others.
The Flintstones/The Jetsons
This theory is a nice little crossover between the supposedly stone age Flintstones and the futuristic Jetsons. They all actually live on the same planet, at the same time, but are separated according to class. The Flintstones are a lower class so live a rather basic life, whereas the Jetsons are a higher class so live above the ground with an abundance of technology. I find this rather reminiscent of George Orwell’s 1984, where the Proles live a simpler life than Winston and the others. There is another theory that the Flintstones actually takes place in a post-apocalyptic future. In the film crossover of the two families, Elroy Jetson builds a time machine to take his family into the far future. Supposedly, it goes wrong and transports them way into the past where they meet the Flintstones. But did it actually go wrong? The theory suggests that a nuclear war wiped out civilization and left a primitive culture among the survivors. This would explain the ‘modern’ technology, such as televisions, cars and even bowling alleys that the Flintstones have, although they are animal powered as that appears to be the only resource available. It would also explain why the Flintstones are seen to celebrate Christmas.
SpongeBob SquarePants
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Erm…a load of casualties of a nuclear testing site apparently. SpongeBob and his friends, Patrick, Sandy, Squidward and his boss, Mr Krabs, live underwater in the city of Bikini Bottom. This theory points out the similarity in name between Bikini Bottom and Bikini Atoll – a coral reef in the Marshall Islands which was used for nuclear testing between 1946-1958. The land was declared unfit for living on as the soil and water became heavily contaminated. The inhabitants of Bikini Bottom are rather strange mutations that are a result of nuclear testing. The further down in the ocean you go, the stranger the creatures become.
Garfield
OK, sorry to all cat lovers in advance! Garfield is well known for having a humungous appetite, especially for his favourite food, lasagne. He lives with his long-suffering owner, Jon, who often has his food stolen by the big ginger cat. The comic has gone on for years but in October 1989 things went a little bit darker to say the least. Garfield wakes to find himself alone in the house and, when he tries to find out where Jon is, he discovers the house has obviously been abandoned for some time. In the last frame the author of the comic writes ‘an imagination is a powerful tool. It can tint memories of the past, shape perceptions of the present, or paint a future so vivid that it can entice…or terrify, all depending upon how we conduct ourselves today…’. The theory is that Garfield is in fact a neglected pet, slowly starving to death after being abandoned. His whole life is imagined, a comfortable house, a caring owner and food on tap. This cartoon strip supposedly signifies when Garfield realises the truth and dies or goes insane. Lovely.
The Smurfs
So, according to the Internet (bless it) the Smurfs are in fact white (blue?) supremacists. They all wear ‘KKK’ style white pointy hats and live in a totalitarian society controlled by Papa Smurf. They have a common enemy, Gargamel, who has been compared to an unflattering caricature of a Jew which starts giving Nazi vibes. Possibly the most condemning evidence of racism is when the Smurfs are infected by the Bzz Fly. When bitten by the Bzz Fly, the Smurfs turn black. Once they are black, they turn into angry, zombie like Smurfs who can’t communicate and seem to resort to animal type behaviour. After all that, I’m not even getting into Smurfette being the only female in the village…
Donald Duck
Donald Duck seems perpetually bad tempered (and naked from the waist down, but I’m not gonna judge). The theory is that Donald is actually suffering PTSD. In many of the older cartoons, Donald is seen fighting in a war, presumably World War II. In one episode he is woken by his nephews, Huey, Dewey and Louie, setting off firecrackers. Donald jumps awake shouting ‘I’m in a mine field! Machine guns ahead! It’s a Jap ambush!’. He starts chasing after his nephews with a sharp stick, screaming ‘I see you, you little slant-eye nips! I’ll skewer you on my spear like mutton chops!’. Hmmmmm. This kinda makes sense; Disney was known for producing many propaganda videos throughout the war and would explain Donald’s erratic behaviour, nightmares and flashbacks. Poor Donald. Fun fact, his middle name is Fauntleroy.
Winnie the Pooh
This is an old theory but still an interesting one. There have been rumours circulating on the Internet for years that each character represents a different mental disorder. We have our main character, Pooh, who is obsessed with honey, which could be a sign of Compulsive Eating Disorder. Piglet is constantly a bag of nerves and turns to Pooh for constant reassurance, classic signs of Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Rabbit showed signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, especially when Pooh gets his bum stuck in Rabbit’s living room. Instead of being concerned for his friend, Rabbit is more concerned about the appearance of his living room (although I would probably be the same if I had a bum sticking through my wall). Owl believes he is the old stereotype of the wise old owl and often believes himself to be highly intelligent and ‘above’ the other characters, leading people to theorise he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Tigger is constantly bouncing around with a seemingly never-ending abundance of energy, mirroring some traits of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. And my favourite, Eeyore, appears to be suffering from Major Depression Disorder. Poor Eeyore.
Thomas the Tank Engine
This is definitely my favourite out of all the theories I’m writing about today. The theory goes that The Fat Controller is a tyrant who lords it over the trains who reside on the Island of Sodor. If the trains try to rebel in anyway, The Fat Controller has them tortured and/or destroyed. In one of the Thomas the Tank Engine books, the train Percy says ‘engines on the Other Railway aren’t safe now. Their controllers are cruel. They don’t like engines anymore. They out them on cold damp sidings and then, they…they c-c-cut them up’. There is even a picture in one of the books having his face removed as punishment. What. The. Fuck. There is the story of Smudger, a train who liked to show off by going fast and would often derail. As a punishment they permanently disfigured him by turning him into a generator and leaving him on display behind the engine shed, never to move again. One of the most disturbing Thomas stories was from the TV show; Henry the train doesn’t want to work in the rain as it might ruin his new coat of paint. The Fat Controller says ‘we shall take away your rails and leave you here for always and always and always’ before bricking the train up in a tunnel. Alive. The narrator even says, ‘I think he deserved his punishment, don’t you?’ Er, no I bloody well don’t.
After writing this, I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same about Thomas the Tank Engine. There are plenty more theories out there about childhood programmes and I would love to hear about your favourites in the comments. As always, thanks for reading, take care of yourselves and I will see you soon.
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